Don't Make Me Go! (Hawaii, Day 8)

Feeling depressed on the last day of a vacation is not uncommon. But this was the first time I actually felt tears welling up as I loaded my bags into the cursed Sebring then walked to the office to check out. I don't know why my emotions were running so strong. Perhaps it was the thought of leaving so much undone, or returning to the tedium of everyday life. Whatever it was, I played out my last few hours on the Big Island in a state of mourning, begrudgingly following the necessary departure routine.

My plane left early in the afternoon, so I didn't have time to travel very far. After a subpar breakfast at the restaurant at the King Kamehameha Hotel that left me more than a little unsatisfied, I strolled the grounds near Ahuena Heiau, located incongruously near all the hustle and bustle of the tourism of the Kona waterfront. The grounds of the hotel are in dire need of updating. Considering the place has such prime real estate and a significant historical landmark, the proprietors have really let it go. The interior looks as if it hasn't been refurbished since Esquivel's heyday, and I almost expected to hear his "space-age bachelor pad music" piped through the faux wood corridors. Even the air seemed stagnant and old, the strong whiff of retirement home permeating every corner. It was a depressing place to spend my final day.

With less than a half hour before I'd have to hit the road, I ventured into town for a quick peek at the Mokuaikaua Church, listed as the first Christian church of the Hawaiian islands. Quaint as it was, it was less than remarkable, and much less picturesque than either of the smaller churches I'd visited over the previous week. A few snaps there, then it was time to hit the road -- with a quick pitstop at Ba-Le to pick up my beloved lemongrass tofu baguette for the plane ride.

After a brief disagreement with the Dollar clerk regarding the problems I'd experienced with the Sebring From Hell, I found myself at the end of an interminable and unmoving line at the Kona airport. I've been through airport chaos, including during holiday season, but the inefficiency was just deplorable. How many times did I have to have my bags scanned? Why did it take the skycap 20 minutes to serve the one person ahead of me? Why were only two counter clerks around to check the three plane loads of passengers who were hoping against hope that they wouldn't miss their planes? Note to Kona airport managers: Hawaii is not a developing nation. Get your act together. You don't want your economy-fueling tourists having this melee be their last memory of an otherwise relaxing vacation.

Even with all the inconvenience, it was far preferable to being in a cube. That was when I realized the cause of the tears welling behind my eyes.

Day 1: Escape From Cube Life
Day 2: Manta Heaven
Day 3: Paddling to My Death
Day 4: The Southernmost Gaffe in the United States
Day 5: Somewhere Over Polulu
Day 6: Grounded in Hilo
Day 7: To Fly or Not to Fly
Day 8: Don't Make Me Go!

I'll Never Complain About My Cube Again

Returning to work after a particularly wonderful vacation is never fun. In fact, it can be downright suicidal. As I boarded my plane from Kona to LAX this past Saturday, I felt the urge to cry, an emotion I'd never before felt so strongly after a trip. Whether it was the thought of leaving such a beautiful landscape or coming back to my gray-walled cube, I can't say, but after seeing this article, I'm feeling somewhat blessed.

The 'Winners' of the Wired News Saddest-Cubicle Contest

Just in Time for the Holidays

Ah, the holiday season. You can just feel the love in the air. And nothing says "festive" like AOL:


AOL Lays Off 2,000 Employees

Valley Sky

As I hump over the Sepulveda Pass each morning on my way from the South Bay to the Valley, I marvel at the instantaneous change in climate, as if some giant paw has flicked an electrical switch from "foggy" to "muggy." The sun cuts through the gloom as if on fast-forward in some National Geographic documentary. But it's all real, in real time. That's the miracle of the LA basin's micro-climates.

From the patio of my office building, several of us looked on as the sky grew ominously gray, and I found myself hoping an East Coast storm was brewing. The palm fronds rustled just a few feet below us, as I noticed the incongruous reflection of pale blue skies painted in the glass windows of the office building opposite. We never saw that storm, although a co-worker swore he could see the raindrops falling several miles away.

A few days later, I thought we might finally be blessed with a true downpour. The sky was ashen, and I recalled the OC fires from several years back that left half an inch of cinder blanketing my car. Sure enough, a friend pointed out the columns of smoke billowing from the Hollywood Hills, where a line of flames rushed towards the far side of the ridge, not terribly far from the notorious Hollywood sign. But, being jaded Angelenos, we shrugged our shoulders and ducked back inside to our cubes. Yes, we're glad the sign remains intact, but it might have been more dramatic to watch a cultural icon go up in blazes as we watched live -- on streaming video, of course.

Au Revoir, AOL CityGuide (aka AOL Local, Digitalcity, etc.)

We all could sense the ship taking on water even as early as last year. One by one, the employees departed, and their empty cubes (valued at about $10k a pop) remained ominously unfilled.

Then last week, the iceberg hit. I broke the news to a colleague, who was on vacation at the time and who had called me to boast he had an interview lined up elsewhere for the next morning. "Good," I told him, "because tomorrow you'll be unemployed." So much for breaking the news softly.

I could expound on this subject for hours -- and, in fact, I have -- but I'll refrain here since my name is clearly on the page, and I'm not in the mood these days for subpoenas and libel charges.

To sum it up, my friends and former co-workers are now out of work, but at least they have a decent severance package.

What I find most amusing is the dearth of news on the subject. Local is only getting bigger in the Internet business, and the demise of one of its most prominent players has warranted nary a news inquiry. The only article of note to be found was a poorly researched bit that reads more like a PR cover-up than actual reporting.

Although I haven't worked at AOL for several months (I'm quite happy at my current job, thank you), the news still saddens me. Even though we could all clearly see the glint of the iceberg in the distance, we all refused to believe it would hit. I can't think of a single person I worked with who didn't enjoy the content they worked on. Even when management and morale were at their lowest, we steamed ahead, commisserating among ourselves in steerage and having a helluva lot more fun.

Now all our hard, "evergreen" work will flounder. It'll stagnate, but users will still be able to find it. Long after your favorite neighborhood bistro has shut down, you'll be able to find the listing alive and well on CityGuide, like an ant preserved in amber, with some poor freelancer's name attached to this ancient piece of Internet detritus and no sympathetic editor to help remove the shame from the database.

And so, as the guard rails sink below the icy surface, I bid a final adieu to the "granddaddy of local guides." Perhaps if the company had paid a little less on cubes and a little more on foresight, we'd still be enjoying the journey. Instead, enjoy this final news retrospective (don't miss #5, a long-time in-house favorite).

Rave Review for the Nascent Digital City (August 1997)

Digital City Becomes AOL Local (June 2002)

AOL CityGuide closes San Jose office (July 2003)

Austin Freelance Job Posting With Mark Gozonsky (!) as Contact (2003)

Elegy for a Temp Job (May 2004 -- My personal fave. Don't miss the part about the jheri-curl mullet.)

Blogger Mourning the Loss of Digitalcity (scroll down) (January 2007)

http://www.infoworld.com/article/07/03/13/HNaollocalsearch_1.html (March 2007)

I realize this post interests only a handful of people, most of whom lived the above events, but I wanted to put it in writing. For posterity, people.

Houston, We Have Lift-Off

I only started my new gig a week before Christmas, but already it feels as I've been there for years -- in a good way. The people are phenomenal and the work has been well worth it. And yesterday we finally launched the site that so many people have toiled over for way longer than I've been there.

Already it's been a rewarding experience, so much more so than my previous gig. (Condolences -- congratulations, really -- to all my ex-co-workers who are now unemployed, or who are on their way to being so.) And I have all my pals at work to thank for it. I've enjoyed coming into work (despite the commute, which I knew about when I accepted this position, even though I'd previously promised myself I'd never work more than half an hour away again) and it feels great to show my friends and family the site I've been working on. The 13-hour days have paid off.

Check out my labor of love: http://www.family.com. If you don't, that's okay. I work there, so I can find your IP address and hunt down you slackers who call yourselves friends. Then I'll break into your homes and log on to your computers just to get the extra unique page views. And I'll eat all the cheese in your fridge while I do so.

Carry on, now.

Job Timeline (aka Talk About Your Writer's Block)

Because I don't have the energy to talk about my New Year's in Baja, I'll just steal a meme once again, this time from that vixen of the Northwest, Bitter Heather. (Props to you, dear.)

Places I've Worked
c. 1982 Sold flower seeds door to door -- West Hempstead, Long Island
c. 1985-86 Paper route (shared with neighbor)
1987-1988 Housekeeper for Dad's co-worker
1988-1989 J. Callaway's Christmas -- Roosevelt Field Mall, Long Island (store clerk)
1989-1992 Carl Wah Kitchen -- Long Island (Chinese takeout -- cashier and delivery)
1990 Camp Blue Bay -- East Hampton, Long Island (summer counselor)
1991 Ocean World Lines -- NYC (intern/CG animator)
1992-1994 Michigan Union -- Ann Arbor, MI (hostess/caterer/waitress)
1993 Fine Line Features -- NYC (intern)
1992 Peretti's Italian Kitchen -- NYC (waitress)
1994 MLB Media Lab, University of Michigan -- Ann Arbor (manager/bane of media students' existence)
1995 Semester at Sea -- international ship (work study admin to dean)
1995 The Swan Club -- LI (caterer -- three weeks)
1995 Tri-Starr -- Lancaster, PA (temp -- two weeks)
1995-96 64 Greenwich Ave -- Greenwich, CT (waitress)
1996 Blue Sky Studios -- Ossining/Harrison, NY (production assistant)
1997 Various productions -- LA (PA, production coordinator, peon, etc.)
1997 MGM Studios -- Santa Monica, CA (admin)
1997 Various productions -- LA (script reader)
1997-present (freelance editor)
1999-2000 PublicFigure.com/How-To.com -- Van Nuys, CA (managing editor)
2009-2001 Sapient Corp. -- LA (content manager)
2001-2006 [Web USA] CityGuide -- Santa Monica/Beverly Stupid Hills (senior editor)
2007 The Mouse House -- North Hollywood, CA (sr. producer)

I'm sure I'm missing a few, but that's the CV in a nutshell. Someone overseas, please hire me. Please.

The End of an Error

It's official. I gave notice at AOL last week to accept a position at Disney Internet Group, a place that -- as far as I could tell from the scant time I was there interviewing -- seems far more together than the CityGuide department where I've toiled away for the last 6+ years. I've thoroughly enjoyed my time at CityGuide (formerly Digital City), but the place has been on a downward slide for some time now. Anyone who looks at the staffing numbers can see that.

I'll continue to work at expanding my freelance career, not because I want to supplement my income, but because I actually enjoy writing about music, travel, et al. At Disney, I'll be helping to relaunch an entire new site for a major corporation -- a dream opportunity for any creative professional. Who would pass that up? I'll refrain from elaboration (on either company). These corporate folks Google this crap all the time. But anyone who knows me well enough knows that I wouldn't make a jump like this lightly -- especially when it means cutting my vacation time in half.

Be psyched for me. Seriously.