Countries With Multiple Capitals; Or, Why Geography Tests Are Unfair

While playing, yet again, my favorite online geography game, I was stumped by a question asking for Bolivia's capital that included a footnote hint that I should go for the sweet one. (Turns out the answer is Sucre, as opposed to the more commonly known La Paz). How can a country have more than one capital? Surely that must drive its resident students mad, let alone visiting foreigners. But, sure enough, several countries maintain multiple capital cities -- most for practical reasons, others simply because the stars told them so. South Africa finds it necessary to maintain not two but three capital cities: Cape Town (legislative capital), Bloemfontein (judicial), and Pretoria (administrative).

Note to bureaucrats: Follow the wisdom of designers and KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid). If only for the sake of your students.

World Flags, Deconstructed and Critiqued

I am now officially addicted to the Travelpod geography quiz that I blogged about a few weeks back. (Today I'm trying to conquer Africa. Interestingly enough, I've already conquered the world.) By far the hardest version of the game is Flags, wherein you're shown a flag from one of the 192-194 (depending how you count them) countries, numerous independent states and territories/dependencies, and you not only have to name the country and find it on a map, but know where it's capital is located. Tough stuff in seven seconds!

To brush up on my flags -- many of which have changed design or become non-existant since my pre-college days -- I went in search of a complete list. And what did I come across? A hysterical design critique that breaks down the good, bad, and the ugly of each nation's flag, finally assigning it a letter grade. Flags are lauded for such characteristics as simplicity and color choice, or lambasted for the inclusion of weapons, graven images, or even "colonial nonsense." Gambia must have a great PR firm, because it came out on top with a 90 (somehow, the critics see 90 as an A+), while the Northern Marianas failed with a measly 2 for a design that appears to be "constructed from clip art."

(Side note: The author behind the site also created a fantastically entertaining Engrish generator.)

For a more professional -- and even more hilarious -- take on flag design, check out the website of Frederik Samuel, who skewers not just the designs but the "clients" behind them. I'll be sure to hire him to design my flag when I become empress of my own island nation.

Virgin to Go Green

When I read the headline that Richard Branson's Virgin airline would begin testing biofuel in early 2008, I thought, "Sure, it will. That's so far away, he's planning on us forgetting about it by then." Then I remembered that it is 2008 and that I have to stop writing 2004 on the two checks I now write a year.

Which means Sir Richard must be serious. So serious, in fact, that late February has been cited as the date of the planned London-Amsterdam flight, which will use 80% conventional jet fuel and 20% biofuel from an unnamed but supposedly sustainable source. (I vote they use Soylent Green. Hey, I'm not far off.) My question is, why only 20%? With over 50 billion people served at McDonald's alone, doesn't that give us enough excess french fry grease to power our entire air fleet? With the enormous -- and strange -- array of bio-diesel sources available to us, Sir Richard should be able to go whole hog on his promise. Twenty percent? Eh, I guess I should be happy someone's doing something. Unlike some people.

Reasons Not to Be a Travel Writer

Establishing a lucrative career as a writer is hard enough. Take a crack at travel writing and you might as well call that refrigerator box on the corner your "condo." This is the main reason I've never gone freelance full time. (The runner-up reason is that the querying process is as unforgiving and demoralizing as being a personal assistant at a movie studio, which pays even less.) Thus, I prefer to spend the majority of my time on the editorial side, where the paychecks are steadier and I don't have to grovel for my next gig. That said, I'm sure the view of a full-time travel writer is far more picturesque than that of the gray walls of my cube.

If you've got the stamina, passion, and cojones, by all means, follow your dream of being a travel writer. But before you begin dreaming of comped trips to Tahiti and widely praised articles about your sojourn to an Israeli commune, heed this advice from travel-writer extraordinaire Tim Leffel:

The Seven Myths of Being a Travel Writer

First Irony, Now Travel Writing Kicks the Bucket

When irony died a premature death, thanks to the events of 9/11, I wasn't terribly upset. I actually hoped its passing would spell the end of cooler-than-thou t-shirt slogans that every hipster from Silverlake to Williamsburg wore as a de rigeur part of their wardrobe. Eh-eh. Instead, irony seems to have gone into a coma, not quite dead but not entirely certain the world is ready for the announcement that it's still alive and kicking. I got over it.

But when I read that some bloke named Chuck Thompson (never trust a guy who willingly goes by "Chuck") thinks that today's travel writers amount to little more than a class of uninspired hacks, I was peeved -- and a might bit baffled. Does this guy not read National Geographic Adventure or Outside? Has he not heard of Tim Cahill, Pico Iyer? Sure, there are more than enough travel-industry stoolies who'll write a glowing review of any dump that throws them a comp, but isn't toadyism part of any industry?

I haven't yet read Chuck's opus, Smile When You're Lying: Confessions of a Rogue Travel Writer, but based on the pieces I have scanned, I have no need to. The first one I plucked out on Amazon began -- I kid you not:

Watching the Penis Olympics didn't make me feel much like the "foreign ambassador" the JET orientation had prepared me to be. Worse, the pressure on me to participate was fierce. A lupine excitement gripped the room at the possibility of seeing a Caucasian penis in the engorged flesh, but the assumption that I was packing a gigantic wad, flattering to be sure, was also intimidating.

And two Surprise Me! clicks later:

Temples, not tits, filled my Thai checklist.

Pure poetry, Chuck.

If travel writing has passed its peak, Chuck sure ain't helping prep for its comeback tour with frat-boy prose like that. So who is he to pass judgment on the rest of the travel-writing community, especially when the fluff pieces he so despises are usually taken by well-meaning writers just to pay the bills in between more important writing gigs?

Senor Chuck does, however, make some valid points, including several that brought back stinging memories of a not-so-long-ago gig. Says Rolf Potts, in his review of Chuck's book [emboldened words hold special meaning for yours truly]:

Thompson proceeds with an accurate roundup of the elements that conspire to create bad travel writing: throw-away words like "hip," "happening," "sun-drenched," "undiscovered," and "magical"; imperative language that urges the reader to "do" this, "eat" that, "go" here; stories that depict tourism workers (taxi drivers, hotel clerks, bartenders) as "local color"; the fake narrative "raisons d’etre writers invent to justify their travels"; the untraveled writers and editors who assemble authoritative-sounding travel "roundups" from Internet research; the conflicts of interest that arise when writers fund their travels with industry-subsidized "comps"; publications running what is essentially the same story over and over again, never questioning stereotype assumptions about certain parts of the world.

All genres have their low-brow and their high. Travel writing is no different. To lump the commercial in with the literary is like comparing Knocked Up to North by Northwest. Kudos to Potts for taking Chuck down a notch.

Esotouric: Los Angeles' Less Sunny -- But Ever More Interesting -- Side

There are days I want to skip town and never look back. And then there are days that remind me why my planned three-year stint in LA has lapsed into just over a decade. The pure seediness and myriad just-below-the-surface stories and neighborhoods that I continue to uncover keep me from hightailing it to an even warmer clime like Hawaii. And now, as if they'd done it just for me, someone's made a tour that showcases all the best of LA's worst.

Esotouric doesn't cater to the shiny, smiling out-of-towner hoping for a real-life glimpse of a celeb teen tragedy. Instead, this only-in-LA tour company takes passengers through the various underbellies of the city's many-storied past. The new Blood & Dumplings tour careens past notorious crime scenes and the hideouts of various ne'er-do-wells like neo-Nazis and murderous lesbians -- all topped off with a tasty bite from Alhambra's 101 Noodle Express, one of Jonathan Gold's 99 sanctioned area joints (with vegetarian options for yours truly). Where the Action Was gets hip to the once-happening rock landmarks, including Rodney Bingenheimer's now-defunct boite. They even cover my beloved Route 66.

Who wants to tag along?

Ugly Sexy, Meet Geeky Sexy

Know a cute geek? Or a geeky cutie? Think they can go up against the likes of Danica McKeller or Barack Obama in terms of sheer hotness? Enter them into Wired's Sexiest Geek of 2007 contest. I have a few people I would nominate, but I know I'd overlook someone else who would then just go cry in a corner. But if you want me to nominate you, let me know! In the meantime, I'm going to keep changing my IP address so I can vote early and often for Jeremy Gutsche.

Wired, hear this: Scrolling the main page so I can scroll in the internal scrollbar? Too much scrolling = not sexy.

The Internet Says I Should Vote for Dennis Kucinich

I'll be the first to admit: I had no idea who Dennis Kucinich was before two separate websites told me that he was the candidate whose ideals most closely mirror my own. So, I did a little searching, and GlassBooth.org told me this about My Ideal Political Match (who shares an 85% match with my beliefs):

Dennis Kucinich was born on October 8, 1946. He is a Democrat from Ohio. He has served the 10th District of Ohio in the U.S. House of Representatives since 1996. Prior to this he was mayor of Cleveland, Ohio. Kucinich is a self-described "Wellstone Democrat."

It's kind of like using an Internet dating service: I plug in my likes/dislikes, and the computer spits back those individuals it sees as most compatible with me, at which point I go, "You've got to be kidding! How could you possibly think we have anything in common?" Thus I learned that I'm more likely to have an amiable chat over tea with Hillary (75%) than with Barack or Edwards (both 72%). Christopher Dodd (80%) may have scored higher than Hill, but I can't bring myself to vote for someone who doesn't stand a chance in the polls. That would be like dating a musician at this point in my life: sounds like a grand Bohemian dream, but it just ain't realistic in the long run.

Kucinich's very impartial site even suggested another website where I could glean more about my political leanings: http://www.dehp.net/. Based on the coder's personal blog, I can't say for sure this widget is at all unbiased, but even a third site (SelectSmart.com) told me that Kucinich's my guy -- edging out Barack Obama by 3%, with 77%; Hillary took a dive, hitting 66% (tying her with Al Gore, oddly enough).

I'd love to hear how these sites worked for others, if you have the chance to play along at home.